The Porcelain Cousin

Around the time of the revolutionary war, me and my cousin were celebrating our birthdays that same year. Of course, he was much older than me, but I soon began catching up to him in years. I believe this happened because my parents loved me a lot more than his parents loved him, but thats neither here nor there. For such a long time I had wanted to make a porcelain version of myself, to see if it could pass off as the real me. Unfortunately my family did not have much wealth at the time, so I had no way to afford the gadgets and supernatural holographic wizards that could help me construct my pale being. I had mentioned this idea briefly to my cousin, and I assume that he thought it was a grand idea. His family was rich in the financial area so he would ask me over everyday, with helpers that would build this monstrosity, to get the perfect ideas of a liking of him in porcelain. Months went by even a few weeks even, even, even, even.........Even if I were your father I could not support this family with the way you live. All your materialistic shams and fake smiles. I cannot take it anymooooooooooooooore........oh, sorry I trailed off. So finally the porcelain cousin was complete. To test our product, we set the porcelain cousin out near his house as if he were doing his normal chores for the day. His mother came outside to bring him a nice glass of cold tea, and upon seeing that he had no response to her she quickly began to panic. She ran back into the house to call his father. While she was in the house some kids came up near the porcelain cousin with a football, stating that they were ready to play. They called out to the porcelain cousin loudly saying, "CATCH!!" His mother frantically ran out of the house while his father trailed behind, slowly. There went the ball closer and closer towards the porcelain cousin, until, WHAM! The football smashed right into the face of the porcelain cousin, completely destroying its face. His mother stopped and looked in horror at what happened, as we were laughing and laughing. The surprising thing is that his father was laughing as well. The other kids that had threw the football quickly ran off crying. One of them fell and scraped up their left elbow and forehead up pretty bad. I'm pretty sure veins could be touched from lack of skin. Anyways, as the mother began running to hold her "son", so she thought (snickers under breath), the whole thing slowly began to tip over. It seemed to be in slow motion, as his mother ran to catch him, but it was too late. The porcelain cousin shattered into little pieces on the dirt groundbelow. The father, laughed harder at this site. The mother began picking up the little pieces of her "son" and soon passed out. We ran from the bushes and pointed at his mom and began laughing and laughing. When we realized she had no response, we rushed her to the hospital. She suffered a heart attack, a stroke and has been in a coma for the past 675 years. I'll never forget the look on my cousins face after seeing what happened to his mother, and I'll never forget the words he said, because it struck my heart like a knife, "Damn!! Now we gotta spend 5 more months making another one of these porcelain cousins."